Also known as the Goth, the Emo, the Whiner, and sometimes, the Glenn Beck, the Bitcher has Wall posts that look like this:
Everything is so dark, and cold. No one understands me, sometimes I think if I died, no one would miss me.
Or this:
Pain is the order of the day. Just, so much pain. Sweet beautiful, innocent pain.
Or this:
WHY?! Why did Derek Jeter have to get married! I don’t want to LIVE anymore!
This person acts like everything in their life sucks, and they have to tell you about it via bad poetry. It’s annoying because you don’t know this person, and you couldn’t possibly give less than a shit about the ongoing love triangle between your boss, you, and Alejandro the janitor. But sometimes this “friend” gives you a moral dilemma:
I think I’m going to drive out to the GW bridge tonight, and jump off the side after taking some cyanide capsules, while on the way down stabbing myself repeatedly with a cobra fang and then shooting myself with silver bullets just in case I’m a werewolf.
Not only is that one of the most elaborate suicide schemes ever thought out (really, allowing for being a werewolf, THAT’s foresight) but now he’s just dumped this right in your lap. What do you do? Do you try to stop them? You don’t know him, why’s he going to listen to you? Should you call the authorities? What if it’s a joke, or he doesn’t really mean it? What if you do nothing, and this nut DOES manage to off himself? Now you feel bad. Probably at least as bad as Hair Gel Guy up there.
Real Life Equivalent:
Everything is so dark, and cold. No one understands me, sometimes I think if I died, no one would miss me.
Or this:
Pain is the order of the day. Just, so much pain. Sweet beautiful, innocent pain.
Or this:
WHY?! Why did Derek Jeter have to get married! I don’t want to LIVE anymore!
The cause of his distress? He just ran out of hair gel.
I think I’m going to drive out to the GW bridge tonight, and jump off the side after taking some cyanide capsules, while on the way down stabbing myself repeatedly with a cobra fang and then shooting myself with silver bullets just in case I’m a werewolf.
Not only is that one of the most elaborate suicide schemes ever thought out (really, allowing for being a werewolf, THAT’s foresight) but now he’s just dumped this right in your lap. What do you do? Do you try to stop them? You don’t know him, why’s he going to listen to you? Should you call the authorities? What if it’s a joke, or he doesn’t really mean it? What if you do nothing, and this nut DOES manage to off himself? Now you feel bad. Probably at least as bad as Hair Gel Guy up there.
Real Life Equivalent:
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